You bump into an old friend right after thinking about them. A job opportunity lands in your inbox the same day you’re ready to quit. It feels like destiny — but is it? The truth: our brains are wired to connect dots, sometimes too eagerly. Coincidences feel magical, but that doesn’t make them mystical.
Why Coincidences Feel Like Fate
Humans are meaning-making machines. We don’t just notice events — we weave them into stories.
When two unrelated things happen close together, our minds often link them into one narrative.
Science Says: Psychologists call this tendency apophenia — seeing meaningful connections in random events. It’s an ancient survival skill (better to imagine rustling grass is a predator than to miss the real thing). Today, it shows up as “meant to be” moments.
The Comfort of Destiny Thinking
It’s easy to see why we prefer “fate” over “chance”:
- Control through story. Believing events were destined feels safer than accepting randomness.
- Meaning in chaos. Linking events gives us purpose in the face of uncertainty.
- Hope in hardship. If it’s “meant to be,” then even struggles feel like they serve a higher reason.
But the downside? Outsourcing your choices to destiny can shrink your agency.
Reframing Coincidences as Invitations
You don’t have to kill the magic of coincidences — you just need to see them differently. Instead of asking, “What’s the universe telling me?” try:
- Curiosity over conviction. Ask: “What else could explain this?”
- Mirror instead of message. Notice what the moment reflects about your current desires, fears, or readiness.
- Choice over chance. Let coincidences spark ideas, not dictate decisions.
Mini Practice: The Coincidence Curiosity Drill
- Think of one “meant to be” moment from the last month.
- Write down the story you told yourself about it.
- Then list at least one other totally plausible explanation.
Example: “I ran into my friend the day I needed support.”
- Story: “The universe sent them.”
- Alternative: “We both live nearby and frequent the same café.”
- Reflection: “I want more social support in my life — time to reach out intentionally.”
The Spiral Connection
Coincidences often pull us back into awareness. They highlight desires we’ve been ignoring or fears we haven’t addressed. In the spiral framework, they’re less about fate and more about feedback — a nudge to re-examine where you are in your cycle.
The Takeaway
Coincidence doesn’t equal destiny. But it can equal clarity — if you let it reflect what’s happening inside you, not just outside. The real power is in the meaning you choose to make from it.
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Embracing coincidence leads naturally into understanding why not everything is connected — and why that freedom is powerful.
Read Next: [Why It’s Not All Connected →]
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