Have you ever looked back on your life and thought, “It all had to happen this way — it was meant to be”?
That feeling is powerful.
It can bring comfort, closure, even gratitude.
But scientifically? It’s an illusion.
The past didn’t have to happen exactly as it did — your brain just edits the story to make it feel inevitable.
Why the Past Feels Prewritten
Your mind loves order. It hates loose ends. So when something happens — good or bad — your brain rewrites the story so the outcome feels destined.
- It feels neat. Randomness is messy. “Meant to be” gives life a tidy arc.
- It reduces anxiety. Believing there was no other option soothes regret and uncertainty.
- It strengthens identity. Seeing your story as inevitable makes you feel grounded in who you are.
Science Says: This is called hindsight bias. Research shows that after we know the outcome of an event, we dramatically overestimate how predictable it was. Our brains literally distort memory to make the past feel prewritten.
The Problem with “Meant to Be” Thinking
Comfort is good. But when we overuse “meant to be,” we risk:
- Losing agency. If everything is destiny, why bother making intentional choices?
- Staying stuck. Believing hardship was “necessary” can keep you from changing patterns.
- Shrinking possibility. If life only could’ve gone one way, you forget that it could also go many others.
How to Reframe It
Instead of letting hindsight bias trick you into believing the past was inevitable, try:
- Hold gratitude and possibility. Yes, appreciate where you are — but remember it could’ve been different, and still okay.
- Name alternative paths. Practicing counterfactual thinking (imagining other outcomes) actually strengthens resilience.
- Reclaim authorship. You’re not the product of a script. You’re the author shaping each page.
Mini Practice: Rewrite the Story
- Choose one major life event you often label as “meant to be.”
- Write down three other ways it could have turned out.
- Then remind yourself: I didn’t arrive here because it was written. I arrived here because of choices, chance, and growth.
The Spiral Connection
In spiral work, hindsight isn’t destiny — it’s perspective.
You revisit themes not because you’re doomed to repeat them, but because each time you come back around, you carry new awareness and skills.
The spiral keeps you moving forward, not trapped in fate.
The Takeaway
The past wasn’t prewritten. But your power lies in how you interpret it. Instead of “meant to be,” try:
- “I can be grateful for what came.”
- “I can learn from what unfolded.”
- “I can shape what comes next.”
Your story isn’t a script. It’s a spiral — and you’re still writing.
_________
Now, with compassion for your past, you’re ready to keep wonder alive — without losing your grip on reality.
Read Next: [How to Keep Wonder Alive→]
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